When I first laid eyes on Craig Saunders over ten years ago, I was hooked instantly. I hadn't actually met him yet; I had simply seen him walk into a room. And from that moment forward I was irresistibly drawn to him in a way I've never experienced before. He was the one that I was supposed to fall in love with, get married to, and have beautiful babies with. From the moment I saw him, that was it. Period. No doubts, no turning back, no second-guessing. I just wanted him. I didn't choose my reaction to seeing him for the first time. It was from my gut. It was automatic. It was an unstoppable and unwavering attraction that persists to this day.
Once I actually met Craig and started getting to know him, I didn't choose to fall in love with him. It was natural. It was as easy as breathing to love him and want him and hope for a future with him. Once I knew I was in love and was going to marry this incredible man, there was nothing in the world that could have changed my mind. I would have traveled to the ends of the earth to be with him if I had to. I would have given up anything to have him and to be had by him.
When I married Craig six years ago, it was the happiest day of my life so far. It is the one memory that brings me to tears every time I think back to it. I'm literally crying right now just thinking about how incredibly beautiful it was to marry my husband. I can see the adoration that shone in his eyes when I walked down the aisle to him. I can still hear him reading his vows of love to me. I can see that huge smile on his face as we were declared man and wife. And the thing that's most precious to me is the private moment we had together right after the ceremony when he was nearly speechless with joy because he had just married me.
If the first paragraph of this posting had involved me seeing a woman and being irresistibly attracted to her, I probably wouldn't have been able to write the third paragraph. I wouldn't be guaranteed the option of getting married to the person that I love more than life itself, if I had fallen in love with a woman. All that beauty, all that joy, all those memories wouldn't be mine to remember with tears and a smile. I guess I'm just lucky that I happened to fall in love with a man.
I can't even imagine what it would be like to fall in love so deeply and so truly with the knowledge that I could never get married to that person. I love my husband, and I am so grateful to be married to him. And I truly wish that every person could be as happy and in love and as blissfully wedded as Craig and I are. That is why marriage equality matters to me.
