Actually my butt is the perfect size for me. It's one of my favorite parts of me. But I'm getting the message loud and clear, once again, that there is something wrong with the shape and size of my body. Yesterday, my favorite pair of jeans succumbed to loving wear and tear and developed a significant hole right near the crotch. In an attempt to replace them (observing that my other two pairs of jeans will soon have holes themselves), I have been to five different stores and tried on at least thirty different pairs of jeans.
Unless I am willing to wear mom-jeans that come all the way up to my belly button, or let half my butt hang out the back of my jeans when I bend over, then I am out of luck. So apparently I have to choose between two very uncomfortable and unattractive styles if I am going to continue wearing pants. The only pair of jeans that I tried on that were even close to being comfortable were relaxed fit which means absolutely no shape or style, also translated totally not sexy. Oh yeah, and the waist line came all the way up to my belly button.
I'm twenty-six years old. I'm not going to give up and start dressing like a seventy year old woman. If I can help it, I won't ever dress like a seventy year old woman.
And no, I'm not going to use this shopping setback as an opportunity to berate myself for letting my ass get so huge because that simply isn't the truth. I'm not going to solve this problem by starving myself or getting a membership at the gym. I'm not going to buy books about how to shrink my butt because I don't need to. My body is beautiful exactly the way it is. My butt is amazing and perfect and sexy.
But I have come to realize that the clothing industry, like everything else in our culture, doesn't celebrate me and my body. Our culture does everything it can to convince women they should hate their bodies, but I'm not buying it. I will not hate myself because those damn jeans don't fit!
