So someone asked me the other day whether I've ever considered the possibility that there might not actually be a God, that all the nice spiritual feelings we attribute to God might just be something that comes from inside each of us. And I didn't really have a well thought-out, cohesive answer for that. I probably still don't.
Every person has an image or a feeling or a definition in his or her mind for what God is. None of us is going to have exactly the same idea of God because none of us has the same brain or personality or perspective as anyone else. That's the premise I'm starting from. Because I could say, yes, I believe in God, but not in the same way as you do. But I think that is the case with everyone. We all have our own definitions for God. None of us is saying exactly the same thing as anyone else when we say, "I believe in God."
And I would even put out the idea that when people say they don't believe in God, it's because they've only heard a small definition of God that doesn't encompass the things they do believe in. I think a lot of people have become atheists in response to the church's limited and exclusive definition of God. And so they say, well I don't believe what that church is saying, so I guess I don't believe in God. Maybe there is no such thing as an atheist; maybe there are just a lot of people using a narrow definition of God that doesn't make sense to everyone. Because if I have to use the Christian church's definition of God, then I'm an atheist too.
So when I picture "God," I see all these connections between stars and atoms, between planets and people, between black holes and blades of grass. I see a web that stretches out between every single thing that exists and every other thing that exists, a web that makes us all one, a web that makes everything matter. Some people call this science, but I like calling it God.
| This is a picture of God. I stole it from the internet. |
So I look at the stars at night and I'm looking at God.
And I go for a walk and feel the wind in my face and I'm breathing in God.
And I hear beautiful, unique, and creative music or poetry and have heard the voice of God.
And I cook up some really delicious vegetables for dinner, and, yes, it's like I'm eating God.
And I watch a really good documentary about the expansion of the universe or the theory of evolution, and I feel like I've just learned a whole new facet of God's life story.
And I read an article about UFO sightings, and I'm like, "Yes! God's coming, and he's an alien!! Awesome!" I really like aliens...
But when I hear people talk about Heaven and Hell and who's going where, that doesn't make me think of God. And when people say that bad things happen as punishment from God, that doesn't fit for me. And when people insist that the only way to be saved and have eternal life is to believe that God sent Jesus to die on a cross for us and that everyone else is wrong and unsaved... that just feels really narrow and small to me. Do you really expect me to believe that God is like a child who insists that every game has to have a winner or a loser and that every question has one right answer and one wrong answer?
I just don't know. If the question is, "Do you believe in the God that you were taught about in church?" then my answer is definitely a no. That church God is all about humans and what we want and what we need and saving us. How selfish are we to create a God that is all about us? Our Bible stories aren't about the universe; they're about humanity. But we treat them as though they're the full extent of the story of God. What about all the other planets, all the other life forms, all the other universes that are out there? We're not that important; we're not as special and deserving of attention as our religion makes us out to be. And the God we've invented to fit into our religions seems to think we're the only thing that matters.
If the question is framed differently, I have a completely different answer. I do believe that sometimes things happen that have no natural explanation, call them miracles if you like. I do believe that there is direction and wisdom to be found in waiting and listening before making important decisions. I do believe that there is a life-path set out in front of me that I can't necessarily plan or direct myself. And I have faith in all of these things, and I live by that faith. Perhaps these things come from an entity or perhaps they come from the universe, or perhaps they come from some kind of power that lives inside each one of us. Wherever these things come from, whether they are internal or external, personal or impersonal, I'm willing to use the label "God" to describe them because the word fits better than most.
As long as I'm allowed to use the word "God" to encompass every particle in existence, every dimension of space and time, every moment that has ever occurred... then, yes, I'm definitely a believer.
